


I'm Sorry

by Howlingdawn



Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Miscarriage, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27166891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/pseuds/Howlingdawn
Summary: An away mission ends in disaster.(Whumptober Day 22 - Poisoned)
Relationships: Nyota Uhura & Original Child Character(s), Spock/Nyota Uhura (minor)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949191
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> My original idea was some protective mom Nyota. It... got angstier :)

_I’m sorry._

Nyota dragged herself up the stairs, arm all but wrapped around the railing, knees already aching from multiple falls. Blood glinted in the dim lighting, streaked across her arms, painting her swollen knuckles. But even as she struggled, her footing shaky, her hand slipping, she didn’t let go of her stomach.

She couldn’t.

_I’m sorry._

Her injuries from the escape throbbed and ached. Fire burned through her every nerve. She gasped for air. Black crowded the edge of her vision.

She pushed on.

_I’m sorry._

She crashed through the door, twisting to fall on her back against the soaked cobblestone, but she still felt the impact in her stomach.

If she hadn’t been crying already, crying from the guilt, from the pain of knowing what the end result of this disaster of a night would be, she would’ve started now.

_I’m sorry._

Rain pouring down, hand still pressed to her stomach, she forced herself to roll over, digging her fingers into the stone until she got her knees beneath her, lurching to the brick wall across the narrow alley, hauling herself back to her feet.

World spinning, nerves burning, half blinded by the rain and the darkness and the pain, she limped forward, clutching the wall hard enough to scrape her hand, leaving bloody prints behind. But she clung on, one step at a time, refusing to give in without a fight even as near every part of her screamed at her to do it, to collapse and cry and let the rain and fire take her away.

She slipped in a puddle, very nearly doing just that.

Pain rolled through her stomach, making her gasp, wrap her arm tighter around her stomach.

There was barely even a bump yet.

“It’s ok, little one,” she found herself whispering, prying her eyes open to hide from the dreams that had started to die the moment she felt the needle being jabbed into her neck. “I won’t let you die in the street.”

She lowered her head, taking a handful of the deepest breaths she could manage.

Then she set her jaw and kept going.

She kept going until she reached the end of the alley. Kept going until she saw a familiar figure running towards her. Until she heard his voice calling her name.

Only when he reached her, meeting her at the edge of a pool of light, did she let herself crumble in his arms.

\-----

When she awoke, he was sitting at her bedside, her hand wrapped tightly in his. One look at the tear track staining his cheek told her everything she needed to know, but still she rasped, “The baby?”

Spock looked at her, his mask cracked beyond repair, but his quiet voice was steady – steady for her – as he answered, “I am sorry.”

Nyota bit her lip, tears springing to her eyes anew, and shook her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” She swallowed. “But I…”

_I never should’ve gone on that away mission._

“Nyota-” Spock tried.

She rolled onto her side, away from him, and curled up around the ghost she would never be able to hold.


End file.
